Epiphany

In contemplating my job situation today, I've come to somewhat of a realization: I have to teach.
There are, of course, other options, but at a price. I could continue to languish in the belly of the Kroger beast, which is not without benefits, namely a 401(k), decent heath coverage with vision and dental, and an education in horticulture I never would have obtained otherwise. However, the "education" of my current job is more in line with Richard Rodriguez' "banking" theory of education than I would like. That is, I collect factoids about the flora I am paid to maintain until they are purchased. These are used day-to-day in the upkeep of the plants, but they are also regurgitated for any customer who asks (or, if I'm feeling unusually chatty, regardless of whether the customer wants to know). There is very little critical thinking involved: water a spathiphyllum too sparingly and it wilts. Bromeliads should be watered in the lowest cups formed by their leaves, not in the soil. Hedera ivy does best in bright light. Alstromeria is one of the longest-lasting cut flowers on the market. And so on.
As a teacher, however, I was constantly learning with my students. It's one of those corny cliches you read in education textbooks, but it's actually true. Even in a classroom full of 18-year-old half-wits, every once in a while, one of them managed to think of something in a manner I hadn't considered before, which forced me to reconsider my understanding of it and kept my critical thinking skills sharp. Short of making good on joke that I'll spend the rest of my life as a student at some institution or another, it's the only way I'll ever maintain the level of intellectualism (read: nerdiness) that's become part of my identity. I was never the athletic girl or the pretty girl or the popular girl, but I was the smart girl from my first day of kindergarten until at some indiscernable point I became the smart woman.
Except that I'm pretty sure I've become dumber in the last year, which I've spent mostly away from academia. Sure, I've read, and I've written, but I haven't interacted with students or teachers much, at least not in a setting conducive to learning. It's time to shake the cobwebs out of my brain and get back to what I'm good at.